COMPETITIVE KINDNESS

Is an act of altruism still altruistic if you know you're going to get something for it? I don't mean the completely wonderful return of knowing you've done a good thing and feeling hopeful that your decent act will create a "pay it forward" ripple effect. I mean getting a prize. Winning a game. Does it count?

The fourth and final Whole Life Challenge Lifestyle category is to perform "Intentional Acts of Generosity, Support, and Kindness to Strangers and Others." Suggestions include sending a supportive email to fellow challengers, paying for coffee or bus fare for the person behind you in line, let someone in front of you in traffic, etc.

Each element of this challenge is about game points. I've already noted that I'm not in this to win a prize, but most participants are. There are people playing this game HARD and they want all the points they can get. They will buy you a cup of coffee specifically to get the game point. They will try to out-nice everyone else.

So, for the first few days of this part of the challenge I have been kind of conflicted... the "in-my-head" discussions go like this:

"Kindness is a human imperative, Nadia, it shouldn't be about winning a game."

"Yeah, but so what if it's about points for some people, just accept the challenge and find good things to do each day."

"But its not a good deed if we're getting ahead in a game, Nadia."

"Nadia, it's totally a good deed if the recipient of your kindness doesn't know about the game."

"But isn't that just disguised kindness?"

"Nadia, just shut up and be nice for two weeks." 

Talking to myself is exhausting.

I actually really, really appreciate the thought behind this challenge - the Whole Life Challenge organizers know that a massive group of people, worldwide, are participating in this contest. The WLC folks are issuing directives that are, for the most part, being followed to the letter by thousands of people for eight weeks. Why not take the opportunity to get everyone to think about someone else for a little while? The overall impact of thousands of acts of kindness should be significant.

Does staying caffeinated to
avoid extreme grumpiness
count as an act of kindness?
(it's possible we've been a little
GOT obsessed around here)

So that's what I'm choosing to focus on... a lot of people will hold onto the diet and fitness changes they've made during this challenge, some will continue to drink more water and get more sleep, some will keep meditating. And some will feel really great about having done a helpful, kind, thoughtful deed every day for two solid weeks and just might keep that going.

Maybe the hard game players will soften up a little. And maybe we'll all leave this challenge as better friends, spouses, parents, siblings, colleagues and neighbors.

**side note: the husband who makes coffee EVERY SINGLE MORNING, who races to Dunkin' Donuts at 7 a.m. when the coffee has run out, who brings you a cup every morning when you're still trying to convince yourself that getting out of bed is not, in fact, a terrible idea - that guy has kindness points for life. He already won this game.